Back when everyone was listening to yo metal (late 1999 to about 2003), I was heavily into Japanese rock music, known to most American fans by its shorthand nickname, J-rock.
I was a pudgy, insecure girl from the suburbs with little metaphorical backbone whose main escape mechanism was losing herself in music. Some things have changed - lost some of the pudge and released my Inner Snark Bitch - but some haven’t. The near-constant stress of the past year and a half or so, coupled with my apparent inability to move my career forward, has given my self-esteem the pummeling necessary to drive me back to that place in my psyche where I’m unsure of just about everything, especially if I’m directly responsible for it.
In response to this emotional turmoil, I seem to be once again seeking out the music that comforted me in the past. Thankfully this is no bad thing, as it gives me the opportunity to tell you about one a rock star who is one of the three who have most profoundly affected me - and I’m pretty sure that many of you have never heard of him.
Hideto Matsumoto is better known as hide (pronounced “hee-day”). Born in Yokosuka, a seaside town that hosts an American naval base, he was already famous as a member of X Japan when he embarked on a solo career. I came to know him in this capacity first - I caught a five second clip of one of his videos during the 1998 MTV VMAs (it was up for an International Award) and spent the next several weeks plaguing every record store employee in the area about it. Naturally, none of them knew who the hell I was talking about, and I soon forgot about. Only I didn’t, or rather, I couldn’t. Even those five seconds had been enough to hook me - a testament to the power of a song that would become both comfort and anthem to me over time.
The song in question was “Pink Spider,” a piece whose cryptic lyrics and enigmatic imagery continues to entrance and haunt fans due in no small part to the tragedy of hide’s death on May 2, 1998. It’s easy to listen to the song and hear suicide note, but it’s just as easy to hear a joyous song about personal transformation. For me, the song has always been about the ultimate need to change or die. It’s a knife edge that I’ve danced along plenty of times, and finally finding a song that laid out those feelings for me was a relief. It still is.
The best way I’ve found to describe hide is by referencing my other two most favorite rock stars, John Lennon and David Bowie. The music and lyrics are hard-edged and more rock-based, like Lennon’s, and less inclined to the folk or ambient tinges that are the hallmark of many of Bowie’s tunes. At the same time, hide’s ever-changing style and flair for the dramatic is reminiscent of the Bowie asthetic of fusing music, fashion and stage presence into a parade of masks, or rather, personality facets. Just as we saw Bowie as Ziggy Stardust, Aladdin Sane, The Thin white Duke and finally just as himself, one can follow hide’s career and watch him change from metal guitar god to long-haired glam bohemian, and from there to spiky punk until finally arriving at himself - or at least the self he settled into prior to his untimely death. However, like both Lennon and Bowie, hide never lost himself through his transformations. Physically, he kept his penchant for eccentric outfits and his trademark pink hair. No matter how he looked, friends and family uniformly described him as funny, intelligent, cheerfully impulsive and endlessly kind. The only dark side they spoke of was his penchant for alcohol - he apparently made an angry or mean drunk - but even this was forgiven, as he would always call the next morning to apologize for his behavior, remembered or no. Sadly, it has been speculated that alcohol could have played a role in his passing.
Musically, hide was a force to be reckoned with. While most of his solo works tend to put his considerable guitar skills behind his singing and lyrics (a notable exception being “Genkai Haretsu,” one of the pieces that permits him a fairly long and active bridge solo), one only needs to look back to his work with X Japan to see that he could easily hold his own among Western musicians, if not surpass them. He also possessed a talent for juxtaposing melodies and lyrics, resulting in songs that could cheerfully tell of nearly overwhelming despair (”Hurry Go Round”), or express hope in hesitant, almost mournful tones (”Goodbye”). Something about this comforts me, disarms me and allows me to feel emotions I’d normally repress without being overwhelmed by them. A musician who can do that once is someone to be treasured. A musician who does so repeatedly while making it look effortless is someone to be celebrated.
The language barrier is always a sticking point when it comes to J-rock; while it doesn’t bother me, I know many people for whom it is an insurmountable annoyance. That’s why I was so pleased to find that someone on YouTube has taken to adding subtitles to many of hide’s videos. I’ve learned from experience that J-rock is an acquired taste for some Westerners, but these songs and videos are worth experiencing, even if you elect never to listen to hide or J-rock again. If nothing else, it will hopefully give you some insight as to why I hold the man in such high regard.
For a nice bio and overview of hide’s career, check out this Wikipedia article.
<b>Videos</b>
hide: Rocket Dive
hide: Junk Story (posthumous release)
hide: Goodbye
hide: Genkai Haretsu (a term hide coined meaning “limiting explosion”)
WARNING: The subject matter of the song and video is an abusive relationship; the video appears to depict date rape (no nudity). May be triggering, most likely NSFW.
hide: Hurry Go Round (posthumous release, no subtitles)
hide: Pink Spider (probably his signature song, winner of an MTV Best International Video award in 1998, “Japan Viewers Choice”)
WARNING: Due to female artistic nudity, this video may be NSFW
